Match #2 Official Launch of UCtF
The second UCtF session was played in a particularly beautiful area just west of Arbutus. It featured grassy corridors, strategic lookouts, hidden passages, and even a water fountain conveniently located in the neutral zone separating the two territories. Before long, battle lines were drawn and Team Golden Showers captained by Rear Admiral J-Spooge stood facing off against Admiral Klopp’s vaunted Pink Eyes. The Pink Eyes were fortunate to have Joern and Lorne, two avid students of military strategy, in their war room, while on Team Golden Showers, Andrew was quick to start ironing out tactics and marshaling the troops.
Game 1:
The beginning of the game featured both sides making speculative forays into enemy territory. Andrew, Ollie, and Kelsey initiated several swift attacks down the flanks, but they were continually thwarted and forced to retreat by the rugged, disciplined defending of Bernie and Crystal. The Pink Eyed attackers were more successful as Rob made a daring raid to discover the location of the gold flag.
Shortly thereafter, Team Golden Showers was faced with a relentless assault as wave upon wave of Pink Eyed intruders streamed across the border, infecting every nook and cranny of Gold’s territory in a ferocious bid to take the flag. Some heroic defending by Jordo and Matt, however, managed to keep the enemy at bay. Admiral Spooge himself retook the flag three times, and soon an ever increasing number of Pink Eyed prisoners were captured until over half the team found themselves rotting away in jail drinking beer and vodka.
Blissfully unaware of the chaotic situation on the home front, the Gold attackers were unable to take advantage of their numerical superiority. Despite penetrating ever deeper into hostile terrain, they saw no trace of the flag. Instead, they were chased around like rabbits by menacing Pink Guards and confronted by pedestrians who mistook them for Vampires, and told them to “play flag football somewhere else”. It became a grueling game of cat and mouse with numerous captures and jailbreaks and the ever present danger of Bernie, lurking behind bushes to ambush unsuspecting Golden raiders.
With the Gold defenders growing impatient and pushing forward, it seemed like only a matter of time before they would overwhelm Pink’s defenses. However, just in the nick of time Dana managed to sneak behind Gold’s sentries and rescue all five Pink prisoners. The tables had turned. Team Gold grew ever more frustrated with their inability to locate the enemy flag and began to suspect some foul trickery, so Andrew approached the great Klopp and asked him what the hell was going on. Stefan decided to give him a hint, revealing that the pink flag was located somewhere on 12th Avenue.
That was all the Golden Showers needed to hear. They promptly assembled ¾ of the team to launch a brute force attack with six players descending upon 12th Ave. from all directions. Still, they found no flag. While the blitz on 12th Ave. was taking place, Stefan struck deep into enemy territory to capture and return the golden flag. Victory for Team Pink Eye.
Later, Team Gold learned that they were rather blind. They had, on multiple occasions, walked only meters from the pink flag without spotting it. It had been cleverly placed, hanging off a sign beside the wall of a building. Yet, it was not on 12th Ave. at all; it was on the opposite side of the map on 10th and Arbutus. Whether Stefan made an honest mistake, or deliberately disseminated false intelligence, we’ll never know. In any case, the Golden Showers swore revenge for the next game. After everyone had gathered in the middle to share their experiences, one player was still missing. Several minutes later, Lorne, who had not been informed that the game had ended, emerged from his hiding place in the bushes.
Game 2:
After the disappointment of the first game, Team Gold came out with renewed determination. They hid the flag in a little cul-de-sac amid some flower pots and posted guards on each access point. In addition, they posted hidden defenders to support the guards and cut off the enemy’s retreat. In theory, it was an impenetrable defensive wall. The Pink Eyes would never be able to reach the flag, and if by some miracle they did, they would never get out alive. As the game got underway, a tense standoff ensued at the central border. On the left, Joern, Lorne and Rob engaged in some light skirmishes with Andrew and Lester. On the right, it was Ollie and Jordo facing James and Stefan, stalking back and forth like a rival pack of wolves vying for a carcass. Every time Team Gold thought of launching an attack they were met by Stefan’s fierce red eyes, glowering menacingly across the passage.
Finally, Ollie grew impatient. He waited for Stefan to turn his back and then dashed swiftly into enemy territory. Little did he know that the lush, grassy corridor which looked so inviting concealed a veritable hornet’s nest of hidden foes. The trap had been sprung. With Stefan chasing from the rear, cutting off Ollie’s retreat and barking commands, the first assailant leapt out from behind a bush. Ollie managed to veer to the left and escape, but soon a second attacker was upon him, forcing a desperate lunge to the right. Just as Ollie thought he had finished running the gauntlet, a third assassin emerged from the shadows and whacked him and dragged him unceremoniously off to prison.
Meanwhile, Jordan, who witnessed the demise of his compatriot, decided to take advantage of the confusion by bolting down an adjacent alley. However, Dana had not forgotten about Admiral Spooge’s skullduggery and managed to ambush him and take him into captivity. When Ollie saw Jordo, whom he had counted on to be his saviour, being marched to prison, his hopes crumbled and his heart sank. Jordo whipped out a bottle of his orange/vodka concoction, flung away the lid in frustration, and took a long, hard swig. He then handed the bottle to Ollie, who, thinking it was just plain orange juice, also took a long hard swig.
Frustration soon turned to consternation, however, when James, who had somehow managed to penetrate Gold’s impermeable fortifications, appeared out of the mist proudly bearing a golden standard. Ollie and Jordo could only watch helplessly from their prison quarters as James walked past them surrounded by a cheering entourage of Pink henchman, triumphantly escorting their flag bearer to victory. The game had lasted a total of ten minutes. A glorious win for the Pink Eyes, and a total disaster for the Golden Showers. Failures and disappointments were soon forgotten, however, as all the players gathered at the central pavilion to share some drinks and stories. Yet, once again someone was missing. At long last, Lorne, unaware the game had ended, came lurching out from behind a dumpster.
Hanging Out After the Game
The UCtF train is steadily picking up steam and collecting ever more passengers on the way. What will happen in round three? Will Pink Eyes’ domination continue, or will the Golden Showers rain on them with all the fury of a thousand angry eye drops. Stay tuned.
